Trust is a fragile and delicate thing. It can be broken in so many different ways, large and small. And while large circumstances like betrayal are devastating I’ve found that it’s the small ways that are the most insidious. The erosion of trust is something that happens over time. When you allow behaviors you normally wouldn’t for reasons that are not sound. Overlooking or making excuses for behaviors that are suspicious or wrong.
So what do you do once trust has been broken. Can it be repaired? Or is it something that can never be put whole again. It’s an age old question. I’ve written before about the nature of forgiveness. And I’ve come to realize that you can forgive someone and still not trust them again. And that’s okay.
The adage I believe is “forgive and forget” but I always thought that didn’t make sense. If you forget you cannot remember the lesson. You cannot gain the wisdom that that costly life lesson afforded you. You can “forgive and remember”. You can “forgive and learn”. Forgiveness is key. It allows you to move on with grace and in wholeness. Forgiveness allows you to incorporate the lesson and be wiser the next time the situation presents itself, and it will.
Trust once broken cannot be made whole. You can make something new, maybe just as good, but it will never be the same again. There are some things in life that cannot go back perfectly the way it was before. As much as we wished it would. Perhaps that is why it is so devastating when trust is broken. Because we know in our souls that something irreversible has happened. We can only go forward with hope and kindness and a new appreciation of the resilience of the heart.