False fear

Tomorrow I will teach my first large yoga class in a structured setting. Truth be told, it’s been a while since I’ve been in front of a large yoga class, structured or not.

I’ve had a hard time sleeping worried about it. Running sequences over and over in my mind. Picturing what I think the class might look like. Laced through these circular thoughts is an over arching feeling of fear.

There’s nothing specific about the feeling. It’s general but pervasive. It’s insidious and it’s false.

This morning I taught a very small chair yoga class. I stayed in the moment and took it one breath at a time. Leaving a lot of space for myself and my students. Each moment lead to the next. And in what seemed like just a few heartbeats the class was over. And my students were basking in the glow of peacefulness and calm.

A peace and calm I helped create.

This morning helped me realize all those fears are simply my mind trying to process a new and novel situation. It’s my brain’s way of saying, “pay attention” this is something new and important. I am incorrectly interpreting that awareness as something to be avoided.

This new situation is one I’ve been working towards for 2 years. It’s something I’ve dreamed of accomplishing. I am on the brink of realizing a dream. And I realize it’s not fear I should be letting pervade my soul it’s joy and anticipation.

So I remind myself to take a breath. Find the silence where my soul lives, whole and ready. Step out boldly into the realization of a long held dream.

2 responses to “False fear”

  1. You’re going to be awesome tomorrow! You’re a natural teacher. I didn’t realize that you are nervous about teaching because you are so good at it. Definitely, be excited! You’ve got a gift and you’re sharing it with so many people tomorrow. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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